Saturday, September 24, 2011

27. A Man

All I ever wanted to be was a man.  My earliest memories as a child are filled with instances where I tried to be a man long before I was able.  As I grew older, I stumbled forward on the narrow boards of my ego.

I remember myself as a teenager, sitting lonely in the center of my own universe, writing the script that saw my future come out the way I wanted.  But in the staging of the scenes, I was a second-rate actor who often forgot his lines or stumbled while crossing the stage.  And in playing the starring role, I was just trying to become someone I had invented.   I  could act my heart out, impersonating the successful young man I  wanted to be, but I was unable to master the real roles  in my life … student,  son , brother, friend.  I risked failing to be a real person because I was trying to be someone I wasn’t.  

The cock-sureness of my youth masked my natural feelings of inferiority.  As I stumbled through my high school years, I began to know the disappointing truth that like many other teens I had never really accomplished anything, had never formed a truly selfless relationship with another and never stood up to honestly take my own measure.  Since I was too young to admit it, I was left to cover my confusion with a blanket of arrogance.  That covering wouldn’t last forever.  Eventually it would shred away, and underneath would be found either a boy simply getting older or a man in the making.

I don’t remember how it happened.  I know the process wasn’t clean and precise.  This monastic life  played a significant part in it.  For some, maturity was inevitable.  For me, it was a long road with uncertain directions and a changing landscape.  But I eventually got here, and today I can say with confidence that I am indeed a man.  But I am only a man.  And although I will sometimes sit in the center of my own universe,  I seldom set up camp there.  It’s too lonely a place.  In the wider universe … the real one …  I am not alone,  I am not in charge and I  am no more important than anyone else.


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