19. Light, No Sugar

I was in the kitchen one morning finishing up washing the dishes when I heard a tap  on the window beside me.  A huge head surrounded by a bush of hair and beard stared in at me. A more stern face I hadn't seen since the policeman caught me stealing gas from the fire department's gas pump when I was in college.  When the man knew he had my attention, a smile broke across his face that was exactly like that of a 5 year old girl as he turned his head aside.  Quickly he looked back at me, put his open hand under his chin and blew me a kiss.  I was dumbfounded, but couldn't help myself from laughing out loud.  I was thinking  he must be standing on a step stool for his head to be that high in the window frame when  I went outside and spotted him approaching me.  He was huge, at least six foot six and probably more.  And as big around as the old maple tree we used to play under as kids before the neighbors cut it down and put up a garage.  He wore a monk's robe similar to mine, but employing yards more material.  His hem swept the leaves off the driveway surface as he walked up to me.

"I am Brother Saint Theresa Kim Im-i, and blesssed be the name of my patron from Soeul, the saint and virgin, killed by the pagan  Joseon Dynasty for her love of The Lord," he said.

"How do you do, Brother," I said playing along.   "I am Brother Saint Jessica, and blessed be the assistant to Mary Mag....."

" ... a minor light in the celestial cathedral of patrons," he interrupted.  "I bring a message from The Pope."

"You're not very courteous, my Brother," I said.

"There is no time for amenities while the world burns in sin and privation!" he said with a great deal of annoyance.

"Then what is your messsage from the Pope?"  I asked.  This had to be a joke.

"His Holiness wishes that you provide a cup of coffee, if you happen to have any."

"And he sent you all the way from Rome to get it?" I asked.

"Of course not," said the huge hulk of a man.  "He's out by the mailbox, waiting in his limosine."

"Who the hell are  you?"  I asked with a smile in my voice.

"He takes it light with no sugar," said. the man.

And so Terd came to us.  He carried a letter from the McFour in Fermoy appointing him to our house.  It told nothing about the giant, just that he was now assigned to Our Lady's at West Saugerties.  Time would pass before the Brothers learned we were housing one of the world's foremost scholars on Athanasius, the venerable Church Father.  But we saw almost immediately he was a man who saw life with humor  but alternated it with a quick temper and an anger that had been with him for a long time.

Bouncer, who considered the surrounding forest hostile territory and every animal in it an enemy soldier, remarked that "the empire," as he called the assembled fauna, had their bears and now we had ours.  And so Brother Thersa was nicknamed Bear until his habit of shouting "Bastard!" almost every time something went wrong earned him the name Terd.

This guy is talented!