112. Who Knows?

Sometimes we walk right up to a decision we're trying to make and don't recognize it until it has traveled some distance down the path with us.  Terd's coming to us after his absence somehow caused me to believe we should stay at Our Lady’s and trust that God would provide for us.  Harpo was right.  That’s what our vow of poverty was all about.

What we now had, however tentative,  could indeed be what God was providing.  Or it might not.  Who knows?  Only a certified canonized saint, I suppose, who talks regularly with Our Creator, would know for sure.  The rest of us struggle blindly through life as it hits us.

I'm a contemplative,  meaning I believe in contemplative prayer where I simply shut up and listen, a simple process.  I use words in God's presence only when I'm in trouble, when I'm acting human.

I hope I would not repeat Terd's mistake of busting out of jail with nowhere to go.  We could do our scholar assistance work and we wouldn't have to live in 4th floor walk-up apartments. 

I had second thoughts about requiring Terd to associate all over again, to get a job and live in the village.  I knew it would touch his pride, but he would overcome it.  I considered his size might hamper his ability to get a job.  A giant can be intimidating, a characteristic that might be useful in some occupations, but just the opposite in jobs such as a customer service rep. Nevertheless in only a few days, our huge Brother found work as a helper on an industrial laundry truck. I don't know if he was the largest worker there, but he was the most courageous.