Harpo (Brother Father Saint Gertrude) fell down the steps into the cellar this morning when he came looking for me. I feel so bad because I ignored his call from the top of the stairs, hoping to avoid conversation with him. I’m allowed to ignore everyone except Abbot Agnes until evening, because our rule allows conversation only after supper and not during the day, when of course it would make more sense to allow communication, especially if we’re working on projects around the monastery. But as my Novice Master once told me long ago, “If God had wanted the world to make sense, He would have left out humans.”
We took Harpo down to the new emergency room in Kingston. We didn’t change our clothes, but went immediately in our work robes, Terd leading the way in through that giant revolving door. I can’t blame the lady for calling Security, who immediately called the Police. If you saw ten robed and bearded men carrying an eleventh into your lobby, led by a giant resembling that big fellow in the Harry Potter movies, you’d probably leak yourself into your boots too! (Yes, we’re all Harry Potter fans!)
Terd did not take too kindly to the little policemen as they bounced around him. Agnes stepped in to save Terd … a role reversal if there ever was one. Guns were about to be drawn and the poor lady behind the desk dropped down out of sight to sit on her soggy boots. Agnes shouted, “Vos adversus Deus,” in the words of the First Martyr St. Stephen. We dropped to our knees and held out our crucifixes, our standard group action when attacked by humans. (A crucifix doesn’t impress a bear. For that eventuality, we carry our illegal .357 in the woods.)
Most of us were directed by the police to return to the SUV while Agnes and Cat accompanied Harpo through his treatment. A sprain only, thank The Lord. Old Harpo should be as good as new in no time. And I’ll talk to him all he wants about his depressing thoughts and doubts.
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